anger managment

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w00dsy
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anger managment

Post by w00dsy »

Does anyone else(apart from Norbs) find themselves getting angrier as they get older? This is not me being a grump, it's rage. I don't know why but most days i find myself trying to suppress it big time, most times for no real reason. I'm just pissed off a lot. I figure it's fairly normal as a male to have it to a certain extent, but i feel like mine is getting harder and harder to stay on top of. I never take it out on anyone, but the smallest thing will set me off and i feel like punching something. I was hoping i'd get more relaxed as i got older. Anyone else deal with this or know the best way to deal with it?
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r8response
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Re: anger managment

Post by r8response »

I never take it out on anyone, but the smallest thing will set me off and i feel like punching something.
That's your problem. You don't have an outlet. You can only keep that kind of shit bottled up for so long before you'll snap.


My solution was to get a boxing bag and gloves
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w00dsy
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Re: anger managment

Post by w00dsy »

True, i have half been thinking about joining a boxing gym. Not so much to punch things but to get fitter, i find i have to disguise exercise as something else and then i'll do it. I have a bag here somewhere that i got for my wife that she never used.
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Re: anger managment

Post by Dr. Pain »

Boxing is good even if it's for fitness. You start trying to punch the shit out of the mitts and at some point you die in the arse. But it works well. But you got to let it out. I've found exercise good as it knackers you out and so you don't have the energy to get angry.

But you do get more grumpy/angry as you get older and it does turn to rage. I guess it's because you've been around longer enough to know more and more things set you off. There is life on the other side though and someone told me years ago at you hit a point where you no longer give a shit and life becomes bliss.

My old man is the worst for anger management and I laugh my fucking arse off when he losses his shit. He hit his head on a tree branch one day and attack the tree with a tomahawk and cut it down. Wasn't a very big tree but he went fucking spastic on it and I was crying, which possibly didn't help lol. He spends his life with the fuse always lit.
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Johnny X
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Re: anger managment

Post by Johnny X »

I can concur with the not giving a shit point. I passed that a couple of years ago. Prior to that I found it tough, mounting levels of anger with no way to vent. My family noticed how tetchy I was getting and made a concerted effort to avoid setting me off. I am not particularly sporting or bothered about exercise and I just "dealt" with it by talking to my best mate. We'd have a beer or two and a good laugh about the mediocrity of it all.

These days I just use the anonymity of the net to let a few people at forums like the AC forum know what a bunch of arse-holes they are on rare occasions.
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Re: anger managment

Post by StanDaam »

I agree with Woodsy... I think the older you get, the more intense your 'I'm pissed off at some thing...' feeling gets.., but your coping mechanism's have also got bettera!!
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Re: anger managment

Post by Shaun »

Yep my anger lately has been bad but mainly towards video games lol. I smashed a 65 inch 4k tv with a tv remote few months ago. Have calmed down alot since :D (no i didn't launch the remote at the tv i hit something next to me and it launched the remote directly into it lol)
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Re: anger managment

Post by ysu »

I don't think it's age, I think it's more circumstances. I've got my ups and downs...

My dear friend back in Hungary brought home a number of keyboards and mice, those are his outlet and it works for him. He was pretty bad at managing it otherwise, even with a box setup in the next room. Lucky he has a hardware business. Cheap peripherals!
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Re: anger managment

Post by richo »

I find myself so fucking angry with inconsiderate drivers, like how hard is it to reach out with your pinky and use the fucking blinker? It's such a small but important courtesy .

Never had road rage issues really but at close to 54 i find i'm calling a lot of people on the roads c@nts which is silly because they can't hear me and or care which makes you feel even more impotent :)
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Re: anger managment

Post by macca »

w00dsy wrote:Does anyone else(apart from Norbs) find themselves getting angrier as they get older? This is not me being a grump, it's rage. I don't know why but most days i find myself trying to suppress it big time, most times for no real reason. I'm just pissed off a lot. I figure it's fairly normal as a male to have it to a certain extent, but i feel like mine is getting harder and harder to stay on top of. I never take it out on anyone, but the smallest thing will set me off and i feel like punching something. I was hoping i'd get more relaxed as i got older. Anyone else deal with this or know the best way to deal with it?
Maybe it's just a stage in life (at about your age maybe Woodsy :) ) lots of pressures etc, I just reached a point where I felt I just needed to not get angry, take a deep breath, shrug my shoulders & get on with it & maybe I'm now too relaxed. Doesn't mean that I'm not cynical & constantly shaking my head but I don't let the anger build up. Actually I find myself laughing at a lot of the stupid shit I come across these days.

That probably doesn't help you, maybe see if you can talk to someone.
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Re: anger managment

Post by Cursed »

I find my anger is fairly closely associated with my current levels of anxiety, tiredness or depression. I'm usually the voice of reason in my house, but increases in any of those three variables seems to shorten the fuse.
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Re: anger managment

Post by norbs »

People have got me all wrong, I am not an angry person, I am just fucking great expressing myself.
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Re: anger managment

Post by ysu »

richo wrote:I find myself so fucking angry with inconsiderate drivers, like how hard is it to reach out with your pinky and use the fucking blinker? It's such a small but important courtesy .

Never had road rage issues really but at close to 54 i find i'm calling a lot of people on the roads c@nts which is silly because they can't hear me and or care which makes you feel even more impotent :)
They sound good on the dashcam recording, though! ;)
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Re: anger managment

Post by Dr. Pain »

norbs wrote:People have got me all wrong, I am not an angry person, I am just fucking great expressing myself.
:yes:

I know the Delai Lama is calm person but I can see you and him going for it Norbs :rofl:
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Re: anger managment

Post by Muppet »

The emotional intelligence class I'm currently doing said to concentrate on deep breathing to settle yourself down.

I tried telling that to my wife one day to take a deep breath, she told me to fuck off, she calmed down then, so yeah, it works :)
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Re: anger managment

Post by Dr. Pain »

Think of waves gently rolling onto a beach...

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Re: anger managment

Post by Dr. Pain »

The waves on a beach was something I learnt via Coles armed robbery training. Someone come in with a gun in your face screaming "give us the fucking money!" and I'm meant to be compliant and think of waves gently rolling onto a beach, imagine the sound of the waves and the sea breeze.
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Speed
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Re: anger managment

Post by Speed »

I rarely get angry.

What works for me is trying to appreciate what I’ve got and not let what anyone else does, bother me.

Years ago when someone or something pissed me off I used to have make believe arguments in my head and that used to get me riled up.

I now realize that the only thing that I truly have control of in life is my own actions.
I am a firm believer in karma so if someone truly does the wrong thing by me I let karma work it out, I don’t feel like I need to worry about it.

I still take the piss out of dickheads to my missus. :)
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Re: anger managment

Post by Enforcer-J »

I've gone in the other direction. More out of hopelessness, fatigue and surrender than anything.... hopefully you dont get to that point woodsy but atleast I've come out the other side much calmer and rational.

I tried the 'is this going to matter in 5 years time' thing and that definitely helps. Just being conscious of it is a good thing, and knowing when you're just wasting energy. It's a snowball.
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Re: anger managment

Post by Dr. Pain »

My anger management is being testing by fucking computers! Sorry Hutchie I'm using your catch phrase.

So last Monday night, 4 BSOD in 2 hours for no reason. But it's been fine since. Then yesterday about 10 am a massive thunder bolt struck close and fried my modem. It's the second one that lightning has fucked in 10 years. So I have a backup modem but it's complete shit and takes me about 4 refreshes to see webpages. My phone's hot spot is better. But if I use the phone, the modem seems to work better, for a while. Fucking thing!

The old Modem I called her Glenn Close, cause like in the movie Fatal Attraction, she wouldn't die until shot. It was a crappy Telstra modem you got back in the day when you signed up for ADSL2. They should only last a year according to Telstra but I got 10 years out of it.

And yes I need a surge protector as thanks to Telstra, line maintenance is so shit full around here, lines are not properly shielded and when it rains it slows down.
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