'Stupid of the week' nominations

[pogo]

so, u hurtz, he happy? I had a relationship like that once....

[pogo]

ok, so I know I feature pretty heavily in this thread.... but I just put my iPod (ok, so it's a iSandisk) up to my ear to hear what song was on oh dear.

at what point does absent-mindedness become stupidness, and is there a particular level of stupid you need to be to get some sort of paid help?

[pogo]

hey check it out, it's a v6

[J.D.]

Stupid of the Week is...me!

Driving back from a job last night with a couple of other guys in the car, we're coming through the Burnley Tunnel. About 500 metres from the exit the car starts going slower and I'm thinking there's something wrong with the transmission (not a mechanic, me). Anyway the thing starts sounding like something from a Wile E. Coyote cartoon: fut, fut, fut, fut faaarrrpppp and stops dead in its tracks*. I put on the hazard flashers and we're just sitting there hoping nobody runs into us. A quick call to Citylink Operations was definitely in order.

So there we were, sitting in the left hand lane of the Burnley Tunnel, going nowhere and hoping we wouldn't get hit. Then the announcement comes on: "This is the Citylink Control Room. Traffic restrictions now apply due to an incident...blah, blah, blah". The "incident" was , of course, me! So we're just sitting there playing I Spy in Melbourne's most notorious tunnel. Anyhow pretty soon I see some flashing lights in the rear view mirror and the man in the van pulls up behind me. "How much have you got in the tank?", he inquired. ""Well it's still showing 33 kms remaining" says I. "I'll bet you're out of petrol", he says.

Anyway he crept up behind us and gently pushed us out of the tunnel. With no engine power I had no brakes worth speaking of and the steering was very inaccurate. He got us out the other end and fished out a small Jerry can and gave us a splash 'n' dash. I gave him $10 and he smiled and we left. Very helpful chap. The whole thing took about 10 minutes and probably didn't hold anyone up appreciably.

JD's driving tip of the week: Put petrol in yer car.

*Like this but with less catastrophic results:

[Vilante]

Nice one JD

[ysu]

interesting, I usually end up with the opposite; go to fill up since it's "empty" and there's still 10L left...
by the way, is it a trafic offence here, too, to run out of petrol on bridges/in tunnels? Can't remember...but If so, you're lucky police wasn't around

[J.D.]

interesting, I usually end up with the opposite; go to fill up since it's "empty" and there's still 10L left...
by the way, is it a trafic offence here, too, to run out of petrol on bridges/in tunnels? Can't remember...but If so, you're lucky police wasn't around

Not that I know of.

[Vilante]

interesting, I usually end up with the opposite; go to fill up since it's "empty" and there's still 10L left...
by the way, is it a trafic offence here, too, to run out of petrol on bridges/in tunnels? Can't remember...but If so, you're lucky police wasn't around

You've been watching a little too much "Police Tin Sivin", it's the law in sheep shaggin' country apparently.

[w00dsy]

thank god your no the guy that flies the chopper JD.

[KNAPPO]

thank god your no the guy that flies the chopper JD.

Nice work LD

[J.D.]

thank god your no the guy that flies the chopper JD.

If I were flying the chopper it wouldn't be in the Burnley Tunnel...

That's a joke in case anyone missed it...

[w00dsy]

it might be if the tank was empty.

[DexterPunk]

Stupid of the Week is...me!

Driving back from a job last night with a couple of other guys in the car, we're coming through the Burnley Tunnel. About 500 metres from the exit the car starts going slower and I'm thinking there's something wrong with the transmission (not a mechanic, me). Anyway the thing starts sounding like something from a Wile E. Coyote cartoon: fut, fut, fut, fut faaarrrpppp and stops dead in its tracks*. I put on the hazard flashers and we're just sitting there hoping nobody runs into us. A quick call to Citylink Operations was definitely in order.

So there we were, sitting in the left hand lane of the Burnley Tunnel, going nowhere and hoping we wouldn't get hit. Then the announcement comes on: "This is the Citylink Control Room. Traffic restrictions now apply due to an incident...blah, blah, blah". The "incident" was , of course, me! So we're just sitting there playing I Spy in Melbourne's most notorious tunnel. Anyhow pretty soon I see some flashing lights in the rear view mirror and the man in the van pulls up behind me. "How much have you got in the tank?", he inquired. ""Well it's still showing 33 kms remaining" says I. "I'll bet you're out of petrol", he says.

Anyway he crept up behind us and gently pushed us out of the tunnel. With no engine power I had no brakes worth speaking of and the steering was very inaccurate. He got us out the other end and fished out a small Jerry can and gave us a splash 'n' dash. I gave him $10 and he smiled and we left. Very helpful chap. The whole thing took about 10 minutes and probably didn't hold anyone up appreciably.

JD's driving tip of the week: Put petrol in yer car.

*Like this but with less catastrophic results:

that was you????!!!! i was the guy who yelled abuse and flipped you off.

[J.D.]

I don't remember anyone yelling abuse at us. Anyway we were pissing ourselves laughing so I wouldn't have noticed.

[Johnny X]

Scuse me for butting in on the SOTW thread, don't normally get up to anything to credit an appearance here. but as I've spent the vast majority of my life living in Burnley (albeit in Lancashire in the UK) I'm interested in why the tunnel is called the Burnley tunnel. Is there an area of Melb called Burnley or is the tunnel named after somebody called Burnley or summat like that ?

If I could find our end it might make it easy to pop over at the weekend for a beer mayhap...

[fp]

Scuse me for butting in on the SOTW thread, don't normally get up to anything to credit an appearance here. but as I've spent the vast majority of my life living in Burnley (albeit in Lancashire in the UK) I'm interested in why the tunnel is called the Burnley tunnel. Is there an area of Melb called Burnley or is the tunnel named after somebody called Burnley or summat like that ?

If I could find our end it might make it easy to pop over at the weekend for a beer mayhap...

The tunnel is named after the suburb where that the tunnel terminates.

Australia, like many former British colonies, has a lot of places named after cities and towns from U.K..

What I am concerned about though, is the amount of places that appear to be named after a particular fictional superhero. Batman Park, Batman Highway, Batman Institute of Technology, Batman railway station, Batman Hill... what did Bruce Wayne ever do to earn that kind of gratitude in Melbourne?

[Johnny X]

Thnks

[matticooper]

Scuse me for butting in on the SOTW thread, don't normally get up to anything to credit an appearance here. but as I've spent the vast majority of my life living in Burnley (albeit in Lancashire in the UK) I'm interested in why the tunnel is called the Burnley tunnel. Is there an area of Melb called Burnley or is the tunnel named after somebody called Burnley or summat like that ?

If I could find our end it might make it easy to pop over at the weekend for a beer mayhap...

The tunnel is named after the suburb where that the tunnel terminates.

Australia, like many former British colonies, has a lot of places named after cities and towns from U.K..

What I am concerned about though, is the amount of places that appear to be named after a particular fictional superhero. Batman Park, Batman Highway, Batman Institute of Technology, Batman railway station, Batman Hill... what did Bruce Wayne ever do to earn that kind of gratitude in Melbourne?

Looks like the Batman Bridge got delivered to the wrong state then

[J.D.]

I'm interested in why the tunnel is called the Burnley tunnel.

Since it runs under the Yarra River and used to leak like the proverbial sieve, it has also been called "The World's Longest Car Wash"...

[Johnny X]

Sounds like the Burnley I know... In need of rebuilding and regeneration

[J.D.]

Sounds like the Burnley I know... In need of rebuilding and regeneration

Exactly but our tunnel was opened in 1998!!

When was your Burnley "opened"?

[w00dsy]

What I am concerned about though, is the amount of places that appear to be named after a particular fictional superhero. Batman Park, Batman Highway, Batman Institute of Technology, Batman railway station, Batman Hill... what did Bruce Wayne ever do to earn that kind of gratitude in Melbourne?

hence my location in my profile. Melbourne was originally going to be called Batmania. How cool would that have been.

[Johnny X]

Sounds like the Burnley I know... In need of rebuilding and regeneration

Exactly but our tunnel was opened in 1998!!

When was your Burnley "opened"?

The earliest signs of civilisation in our Burnley are prehistoric, lots of flint tools and stuff like that scattered around the moors. Generally accepted that the town of Burnley originated in medieval times, there's a market cross in the town dated 1295, so I guess most of our construction is doing OK

[pogo]

just got this in an email, so... I guess most of you did as well. Just in case you missed out, though:

I've got 2 dogs. I bought a large bag of Meaty Bites at Big W and was standing in line at the check-out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Meaty Bites Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 25 kgs before I woke in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Meaty Bites and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned by the food. I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the middle of the road licking my dick and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

possibly but still

[w00dsy]

here's a clear winner for this week. My neice had a kid 6 months ago and the father of the child went out and got a tattoo of his son's name, Brodie. Problem was he got Brody. How dumb would you have to be to not know how your own son's name is spelt. He has since had it corrected, but apparently now it looks a bit stupid.