The short joke topic!

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durbster
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Re: The short joke topic!

Postby durbster » Mon Jan 30, 2017 5:59 pm

Did you see that documentary about stroke victims?

It was a bit one-sided.





- Frankie Boyle

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Big Kev
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Re: The short joke topic!

Postby Big Kev » Tue Mar 14, 2017 2:16 am

@50NerdsofGrey

He was very careful during bondage sessions. He always used a safe word that contained upper and lower case letters and at least one number.
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Re: The short joke topic!

Postby Big Kev » Sat Jun 03, 2017 1:15 am

Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring? He finally decided to stick it out for another year!
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Re: The short joke topic!

Postby Hazelb » Sat Jun 03, 2017 11:27 pm

Hear the one about the bloke who worked at the calendar factory... got sacked cause he took a day off

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Re: The short joke topic!

Postby Big Kev » Tue Aug 22, 2017 6:03 pm

The top 15 funniest jokes from the Fringe 2017

1. "I'm not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change" - Ken Cheng

2. "Trump's nothing like Hitler. There's no way he could write a book" - Frankie Boyle

3. "I've given up asking rhetorical questions. What's the point?" - Alexei Sayle

4. "I'm looking for the girl next door type. I'm just gonna keep moving house till I find her" - Lew Fitz

5. "I like to imagine the guy who invented the umbrella was going to call it the 'brella'. But he hesitated" - Andy Field

6. "Combine Harvesters. And you'll have a really big restaurant" - Mark Simmons

7. "I'm rubbish with names. It's not my fault, it's a condition. There's a name for it..." - Jimeoin

8. "I have two boys, 5 and 6. We're no good at naming things in our house" - Ed Byrne

9. "I wasn't particularly close to my dad before he died... which was lucky, because he trod on a land mine" - Olaf Falafel

10. "Whenever someone says, 'I don't believe in coincidences.' I say, 'Oh my God, me neither!"' - Alasdair Beckett-King

11. "A friend tricked me into going to Wimbledon by telling me it was a men's singles event" - Angela Barnes

12. "As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting; but apparently people who sell fruit and veg are grocer" - Adele Cliff

13. "For me dying is a lot like going camping. I don't want to do it" - Phil Wang

14. "I wonder how many chameleons snuck onto the Ark" - Adam Hess

15. "I went to a Pretenders gig. It was a tribute act" - Tim Vine
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Re: The short joke topic!

Postby macca » Wed Oct 11, 2017 8:18 am

During a lull over a recent dinner, Melania Trump leaned over to chat with the Secretary of State, Rex Tillerson.

"You know, I bought Donald a parrot for his birthday in June. That bird is so smart,Donald has already taught him to say over two hundred words!"

"Wow, that's pretty impressive," said Tillerson, "but, you do realise that he just speaks the words, he doesn't really understand what they mean.”

"Oh, I know," replied Melania, "neither does the parrot."
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Big Kev
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Re: The short joke topic!

Postby Big Kev » Mon Oct 30, 2017 7:12 am

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