Communicating With Different Genders

[Gizmo]

I've started a course at the Australian Institute Of Fitness this year to be a Personal Trainer. Today we started to learn how to communicate effectly with each other and members of the oppisite sex. This is a extract from the text book.

Communication With Different Genders

Secret men's stuff
Men generally:
Are poorer communicators
Are more focused
Do one thing at a time
Are logical
Are problem solvers. solutionn finders and fixers
Have good spatial awareness
Have poor peripheral vision
Think - work, sex, sport and food
Internalise problems

Secret women's stuff
Women generally:
Are better communicators
Are more emotional
Are problem discussers
Are multi-tasked
Hace poor spatial awareness
HAve good peripheral vision
Base 60-70% of thoughts on relationships
Share their problems

Words women use (A guide for men!)
Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks; this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

Five Minutes
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the rubbish, so it's an even trade.

Nothing
This means "something" and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanthing to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument which will last "five minutes" and end with "fine."

Go Ahead (with raised eyebrows)
This is a dare. This will result in a women getting upset over "nothing and will end with the word "fine"

Go Ahead (normal eyebrows)
This means "i give up" or "do what you wwant becayse I don't care", you will get a "raised eyebrow go ahead" in fust afew minutes, followed by "nothing" and "fine" and she will talk to you in about "five minutes" when she cools off.

Loud Sigh
This is not actually a word but a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "loud sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment , and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "nothing"

Soft Sigh
Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. A "soft sigh" means that she is content. Your best bet is not to move or breathe, and she will stay content.

Words Men Use (A Guide For Women!)

Nothing
Nothing means "nothing". If you ask a man what he is thinking and he says "nothing" he menas nothing.

Fine
Means everything is fine.

Five Minutes
Five minutes means five minutes, unless their favourite football team is playing, then it means "I will do it when the game is over"

[Hz-Lab]

Thats from a text book?

Hmm, read that section on words men use... then read the secret mens stuff "Men are poorer communicators"... PFFT, that does not add up. Basically, it should say "MEn do not communicate as much, because they are good at it and get it right the 1st time"

[Jumi2]

LoL HZ-Lab hits the nail on the head for me But its all oh so true, woman like to talk about things, man to solve a problem.

[El Kabong]

I can summarize in four words:

They have the hole.

[GXTracker]

They have the hole.

Vagina? Mouth? Arse? Ear? Nose? eye?...

Which one? Because in my opinion, all are fair game.

[El Kabong]

eye?...

Jeebus. Skull farging. I guess winter can't end too soon up there in the Great White North, eh?

[Scuderia_Alan]

They have the hole.

Vagina? Mouth? Arse? Ear? Nose? eye?...

Which one? Because in my opinion, all are fair game.

Someone has seen The Aristocrats.