Internet photography humour (mine)

ARSE's photographers and arts forum
Post Reply
User avatar
J.D.
Rat
Posts: 6666
Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 2:10 pm
Location: Under a rock somewhere in Australia

Internet photography humour (mine)

Post by J.D. »

I wrote this for a laugh. Sort of a variation on the hipster jokes.

See what you think!

Photographer Owns Sharpest Lens in the World but Doesn’t Own a Camera!

Ralph Burger of Columbus, OH, has it made in photography. He owns the sharpest lens in the world.

“For my first venture into taking pictures I didn’t want to be disappointed by poor quality. You know what they say; buy cheap, buy twice.”

And how happy is Ralph with his new lens?

“Oh, I’m stoked. I put so much research into it before I bought it that it really has to be the right choice.

“I just love the way it can make such sharp pictures, you know, ones that make your eyes bleed and like that. And the bokeh is just so creamy or buttery. In fact it’s a bit like ice cream, really.

“You can put it up against any lens from any manufacturer in the world and none of them is as sharp as this one.

“You know, the internet is so good for new photographers. You’re so afraid you’re going to make a mistake and buy the wrong thing but even though my original budget was only $200, it was $15,000 well spent.

“Everyone was so helpful along the way with sharpness tests and recommendations. I’ve learned so much about photography.”

But Ralph isn’t hurrying to show off the capabilities of his new gem just yet.

“Well, it’s going to take some getting used to and I don’t want to rush things. See, I really haven’t decided on a camera body yet.

“Nikon have a great new body at the moment but I’m waiting for the next Canon which will blow it out of the water.

“Then there’s the new Sony which is getting rave reviews from everyone even though it hasn’t been announced yet.”

So how does the owner of the world’s sharpest lens connect with his new treasure?

“Oh, I just love looking at it and reading about how great it is.

“But they just announced a new version so I hope I haven’t bought at the wrong time.”
Last edited by J.D. on Sun Apr 19, 2015 8:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.
сначала мы убиваем американского лося и белку.

"Journalism is printing what someone else does not want printed. Everything else is public relations." - George Orwell.

Proudly never a mod or admin at RSC from 2001 - 2009.
User avatar
bengatta
Ladies Motorkhana Champion
Posts: 5394
Joined: Tue May 15, 2007 6:03 pm

Re: Internet photography humour (mine)

Post by bengatta »

LOL... that's almost exactly the way I view most internet buyers on any subject...
They say, any day you wake up not dead is the start of a better day than it could be...

You don't need a parachute to skydive, you only need a parachute to skydive twice...

You're never too old to learn something stupid....
User avatar
durbster
The Whack Wasp Warrior
Posts: 5219
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2005 8:29 am
Location: Nottingham, Mother England

Re: Internet photography humour (mine)

Post by durbster »

:D :yes:
wabbit
Posts: 3348
Joined: Mon Oct 24, 2005 6:36 pm
Location: Brisbane

Re: Internet photography humour (mine)

Post by wabbit »

Originally I dismissed this because i'm not into photography. Bloody hell I'm glad I gave this a second go. That was really well done, many smiles and a few giggles.
User avatar
J.D.
Rat
Posts: 6666
Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 2:10 pm
Location: Under a rock somewhere in Australia

Re: Internet photography humour (mine)

Post by J.D. »

Thanks guys. I enjoyed writing it. I really just did it for shits and giggles.
сначала мы убиваем американского лося и белку.

"Journalism is printing what someone else does not want printed. Everything else is public relations." - George Orwell.

Proudly never a mod or admin at RSC from 2001 - 2009.
Post Reply