I don't remember these being posted before .. sooooo
QUESTIONS
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
If Jimmy cracked corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Why do we park in a driveway, and drive on a parkway?
A few things for the bored to ponder.
- wobblysauce
- Seen it, Done it, Invented it!
- Posts: 10489
- Joined: Thu Aug 25, 2005 9:53 am
- Location: On an Island in the south
A few things for the bored to ponder.
Some play it safe on the merry-go-round, others go for the thrills of the roller-coaster.
ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ vs ლ(ಠ益ಠ)ლ
I have a joke for you. I have a prediction that you are going to walk into a bar, my prediction was wrong and your wallet is gone.
ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ vs ლ(ಠ益ಠ)ლ
I have a joke for you. I have a prediction that you are going to walk into a bar, my prediction was wrong and your wallet is gone.
-
- Midget Wanker
- Posts: 5349
- Joined: Sat Jan 08, 2005 1:44 pm
- Location: In a glass case of emotion
- Contact:
Re: A few things for the bored to ponder.
a few of them made me chuckle...
hemorrhoid/asteroid was great.
hemorrhoid/asteroid was great.
- Enforcer-J
- Posts: 6512
- Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2005 11:16 pm
- Location: right on your A.R.S.E.
Re: A few things for the bored to ponder.
ummmm.....wat?wobblysauce wrote:Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face....
-
- Yank with no wank
- Posts: 841
- Joined: Wed Aug 17, 2005 5:13 am
Re: A few things for the bored to ponder.
I have answers...
QUESTIONS
Can you cry under water? Yes, but don't try to blow your nose if it starts to run as well.
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Right at about the same point where the murderer's middle name or initial is always used to identify them.
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Hookers
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? Only if you have on tighty-whities
Why does a round pizza come in a square box? Pizza was always meant to be square. It's been one epic fail fest ever since
What disease did cured ham actually have? swine flu
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? They used carry-on
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? Hello? Breast feeding
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Only if the deaf person can read lips. If not, it's called a Let's Fuck with the Deaf Guy Meeting
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? 3-D glasses
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Cleavage
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. Trust me, it's just you
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? They were on sale
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Wait, I like burnt toast... oh
If Jimmy cracked corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? Who cares?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ? No, it still needs a driver
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Maryann and Ginger were nymphos
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! His hat would fall off
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? Because he was broke after buying all that ACME crap
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? Factories
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? In the U.S. it sure does
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Not sure. How does the alphabet song go?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above? Why else? I thought it would help get me laid
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?Malpractice settlement
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? Don't fart in the car next time
Why do we park in a driveway, and drive on a parkway? Just to piss you off
QUESTIONS
Can you cry under water? Yes, but don't try to blow your nose if it starts to run as well.
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Right at about the same point where the murderer's middle name or initial is always used to identify them.
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Hookers
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? Only if you have on tighty-whities
Why does a round pizza come in a square box? Pizza was always meant to be square. It's been one epic fail fest ever since
What disease did cured ham actually have? swine flu
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? They used carry-on
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? Hello? Breast feeding
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Only if the deaf person can read lips. If not, it's called a Let's Fuck with the Deaf Guy Meeting
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? 3-D glasses
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Cleavage
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. Trust me, it's just you
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? They were on sale
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Wait, I like burnt toast... oh
If Jimmy cracked corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? Who cares?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ? No, it still needs a driver
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Maryann and Ginger were nymphos
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! His hat would fall off
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? Because he was broke after buying all that ACME crap
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? Factories
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? In the U.S. it sure does
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Not sure. How does the alphabet song go?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above? Why else? I thought it would help get me laid
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?Malpractice settlement
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? Don't fart in the car next time
Why do we park in a driveway, and drive on a parkway? Just to piss you off
- wobblysauce
- Seen it, Done it, Invented it!
- Posts: 10489
- Joined: Thu Aug 25, 2005 9:53 am
- Location: On an Island in the south
Re: A few things for the bored to ponder.
ha.. nice EL
Some play it safe on the merry-go-round, others go for the thrills of the roller-coaster.
ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ vs ლ(ಠ益ಠ)ლ
I have a joke for you. I have a prediction that you are going to walk into a bar, my prediction was wrong and your wallet is gone.
ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ vs ლ(ಠ益ಠ)ლ
I have a joke for you. I have a prediction that you are going to walk into a bar, my prediction was wrong and your wallet is gone.
- Cutter
- Legend in his own lunchtime
- Posts: 3954
- Joined: Sat Dec 18, 2004 6:27 am
- Location: Location, Location
- Bauer
- Posts: 7260
- Joined: Wed Dec 22, 2004 9:00 pm
- Location: Tassie
- Contact:
Re: A few things for the bored to ponder.
good pointWhy does a round pizza come in a square box? Pizza was always meant to be square. It's been one epic fail fest ever since
--------------
Stu
Stu
-
- Posts: 2486
- Joined: Mon Jan 03, 2005 11:40 pm
Re: A few things for the bored to ponder.
PB
Radioactive Race Engineering #16 / Lightning Karts KT100s #61
Radioactive Race Engineering #16 / Lightning Karts KT100s #61
-
- Yet to Dip his Nib
- Posts: 1311
- Joined: Sat Jun 17, 2006 11:16 pm
- Location: South Australia
- Contact:
Re: A few things for the bored to ponder.
Well done EL
Schuey's Unobtainables
Natalie Portman -- Delta Goodrem -- Miranda Kerr -- Avril Lavigne
Natalie Portman -- Delta Goodrem -- Miranda Kerr -- Avril Lavigne
- smithcorp
- Occasional Visitor
- Posts: 5656
- Joined: Sun Dec 19, 2004 9:13 pm
- Location: Godzone