Grandpa gets a tax audit

[doug99]

The TAX DEPARTMENT decided to audit Grandpa, and summoned him to the Tax Office. The Taxation Office Auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his solicitor.

The taxman says, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the Tax Department finds that believable.'

I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'

The taxman thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'

Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'

The taxman thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The taxman's jaw drops.

Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'

Now the taxman can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned taxman now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's solicitor as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'

The taxman, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the tax man's desk.

The tax man leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.

But Grandpa's own solicitor moans and puts his head in his hands.

'Are you okay?' the taxman asks Grandpa's solicitor.

'Not really,' says the solicitor. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for a tax audit, he bet me 50,000 dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'

[Enforcer-J]

that was great

[ysu]

best one in a long while!

[DexterPunk]

Hahahhahaha!!!! That's one I'll try to remember and fail

[w00dsy]

lol, nice

[Vilante]

hehe loves it