The short joke topic!

[Big Kev]

An old man went to a barber and asked for a shave, he also said that it wouldn’t be easy as his cheeks were very wrinkled.
The barber produced a small wooden ball, and said, “Push that against your cheeks with your tongue, it’ll flatten out your skin.
When the barber had finished, the old man was very happy with the result, but he asked the barber, “What would have happened if I’d swallowed the ball?”
The barber said, “You could have brought it back a few days later, like the others did.”

[norbs]

Im still giggling at my own joke!

[Big Kev]

I have just applied for a job at Citroen. They wanted 2 CV’s

[Big Kev]

Apparently you can't use BEEF_STEW as a password. It's not stroganoff

[Big Kev]

In medieval times, people used to attach a lamp to a horse when riding at night.
This is the earliest known form of saddle light navigation.

[Bauer]

In medieval times, people used to attach a lamp to a horse when riding at night.
This is the earliest known form of saddle light navigation.

Nice one lol

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[Big Kev]

Boris Johnson is currently simultaneously both Prime Minister and not Prime Minister.

He's Schrodinger's twat

[Big Kev]

2022 Edinburgh Fringe best jokes

1. "I tried to steal spaghetti from the shop, but the female guard saw me and I couldn't get pasta" - Masai Graham

2. "Did you know, if you get pregnant in the Amazon, it's next-day delivery" - Mark Simmons

3. "My attempts to combine nitrous oxide and Oxo cubes made me a laughing stock" - Olaf Falafel

4. "By my age, my parents had a house and a family, and to be fair to me, so do I - but it is the same house and it is the same family" - Hannah Fairweather

5. "I hate funerals - I'm not a mourning person" - Will Mars

6. "I spent the whole morning building a time machine, so that's four hours of my life that I'm definitely getting back" - Olaf Falafel

7. "I sent a food parcel to my first wife. FedEx" - Richard Pulsford

8. "I used to live hand to mouth. Do you know what changed my life? Cutlery" - Tim Vine

9. "Don't knock threesomes. Having a threesome is like hiring an intern to do all the jobs you hate" - Sophie Duker

10. "I can't even be bothered to be apathetic these days" - Will Duggan