A few things for the bored to ponder.

[wobblysauce]

I don't remember these being posted before .. sooooo


QUESTIONS

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracked corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Why do we park in a driveway, and drive on a parkway?

[c.j]

a few of them made me chuckle...

hemorrhoid/asteroid was great.

[Enforcer-J]

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face....

ummmm.....wat?

[El Kabong]

I have answers...

QUESTIONS

Can you cry under water? Yes, but don't try to blow your nose if it starts to run as well.

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Right at about the same point where the murderer's middle name or initial is always used to identify them.

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Hookers

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? Only if you have on tighty-whities

Why does a round pizza come in a square box? Pizza was always meant to be square. It's been one epic fail fest ever since

What disease did cured ham actually have? swine flu

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? They used carry-on

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? Hello? Breast feeding

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Only if the deaf person can read lips. If not, it's called a Let's Fuck with the Deaf Guy Meeting

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? 3-D glasses

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Cleavage

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. Trust me, it's just you

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? They were on sale

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Wait, I like burnt toast... oh

If Jimmy cracked corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? Who cares?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ? No, it still needs a driver

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Maryann and Ginger were nymphos

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! His hat would fall off

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? Because he was broke after buying all that ACME crap

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? Factories

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? In the U.S. it sure does

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Not sure. How does the alphabet song go?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above? Why else? I thought it would help get me laid

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?Malpractice settlement

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? Don't fart in the car next time

Why do we park in a driveway, and drive on a parkway? Just to piss you off

[wobblysauce]

ha.. nice EL

[Cutter]

[Bauer]

Why does a round pizza come in a square box? Pizza was always meant to be square. It's been one epic fail fest ever since

good point

[pab]

[schuey97]

Well done EL

[smithcorp]

Nice one!