The Official ARSE Ashes Thread

Post by **Bauer** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 5:38 pm

WD to the Aussies and all the supporters

To the pommie supporters (the real ones, not the whiny live in Oz kind) better luck next time. Its going to make the return series even more interesting.

2 to go. Hope we trial a few things going forward. bye bye Roy for a start

nutty · Post by **nutty** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 5:44 pm

Phill Jaques!

Post by **Bauer** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 5:59 pm

nutty wrote:Phill Jaques!

how about resting Warney for the MCG test

wouldnt that go down well.

I would like to see Jaques given a go but I think Haydos may have saved himself and the brown nose gnome isnt doing a lot wrong - cept show he is arrogant and aggressive when things dont go his way.

Enforcer-J · Post by **Enforcer-J** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 6:25 pm

Bauer wrote:2 to go. Hope we trial a few things going forward. bye bye Roy for a start

What's your beef with Roy? The blokes hardly been given a shot in the test squad and you wanna kick him out already?

Post by **Bauer** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 6:30 pm

Enforcer-J wrote:
Bauer wrote:2 to go. Hope we trial a few things going forward. bye bye Roy for a start
What's your beef with Roy? The blokes hardly been given a shot in the test squad and you wanna kick him out already?

LOL no beef with Roy at all. In fact I think he is a dead set legend. But I dont think our current team has a place for him. Given the choice of Roy or Watson Id take Roy any day in any form of the game. Our selectors are trying to find a Flintoff or Kallis type of player and we simply dont have one. We need to decide if its a batsman or bowler we are wantingt and go with that. We dont want an allrounder who can score 30 and take a wicket. We either want a batsman capable of 100 each time he walks out or a bowler who can take 5 on a good day.

nutty · Post by **nutty** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 6:44 pm

Couldn't agree more tbh

matticooper · Post by **matticooper** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 9:06 pm

yeah.. but I'd want Roy in the side... because he's Roy

Post by **Big Kev** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 9:39 pm

Oh bollocks.

Never mind, it was nice while it lasted.

Just got to avoid 5-0 now

Bluesman · Post by **Bluesman** » Tue Dec 19, 2006 9:34 am

I've posted this in the HilariARSE thread but couldn't resist posting it here too

Billy was at school this morning and the teacher asked all the
children what their fathers did for a living?

All the typical answers came out, fireman, policeman, salesman, chippy,
captain of
industry etc, but Billy was being uncharacteristically quiet and so
the teacher asked him about his father.

"My father is an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all his
clothes in front of other men. Sometimes if the offer is really
good, he'll go out with a man, rent a cheap hotel room and let them
sleep with him."

The teacher quickly set the other children some work and took
little Billy aside to ask him if that was really true.

"No" said Billy, "He plays cricket for England but I was just too
embarrassed to say."

Exar Kun · Post by **Exar Kun** » Tue Dec 19, 2006 9:43 am

LOL. The shame!

Nigel · Post by **Nigel** » Tue Dec 19, 2006 3:14 pm

Am I the only one that things Roy looks like a golly ? Especially with the zink on the mouth.

David Piglos Shaw · Post by **David Piglos Shaw** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 4:18 pm

Q. What do Geraint Jones and Michael Jackson have in common?

A. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason

Q. What is the height of optimism?

A. An English batsman applying sunscreen.

Q. What does Ashley Giles put in his hands to make sure the next ball almost always takes a wicket?

A. A bat

Q. What would Glen McGrath be if he was an Englishman?>

A. An all rounder.

Q. What advantage do Pieterson, Strauss and Geraint Jones have over the rest of their team-mates?

A. At least they can say they're not really English.

Q. What is the English version of a hat-trick?

A. Three runs in three balls.

Q. What do you call an Englishman with 100 runs against his name?

A. A bowler.

Q. What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by English batsmen?

A. The walk back to the pavilion.

Q. Who has the easiest job in the English squad?

A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.

Q. Why is Andrew Flintoff the unluckiest English player?

A. Because he was actually born in England.

Q. What does "Ashes" stand for?

A. Another Sad Horrific English S eries.

Bacchulum · Post by **Bacchulum** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 4:37 pm

Nigel · Post by **Nigel** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 4:51 pm

DarrenM · Post by **DarrenM** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 5:49 pm

fourthof5 wrote:Am I the only one that things Roy looks like a golly ? Especially with the zink on the mouth.

I keep expecting him to break into "Swanee how I love ya, how I love ya, my dear old swanee".

He just needs some white gloves and do some Jazz hands moves to complete the Al Jolson look

Vilante · Post by **Vilante** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 6:06 pm

@ David Piglos Shaw

Enforcer-J · Post by **Enforcer-J** » Wed Dec 27, 2006 6:43 pm

Enforcer-J wrote:
Bauer wrote:2 to go. Hope we trial a few things going forward. bye bye Roy for a start
What's your beef with Roy? The blokes hardly been given a shot in the test squad and you wanna kick him out already?

I'm not one to say " I told you so"

Oh and

@ England

Post by **Bauer** » Wed Dec 27, 2006 8:03 pm

Enforcer-J wrote:
Enforcer-J wrote:
Bauer wrote:2 to go. Hope we trial a few things going forward. bye bye Roy for a start
What's your beef with Roy? The blokes hardly been given a shot in the test squad and you wanna kick him out already?
I'm not one to say " I told you so"

Oh and @ England

and arent I glad I followed up with

LOL no beef with Roy at all. In fact I think he is a dead set legend.

cos he proved himself one today. So I say give him marto's spot. He still isnt the Flintoff they are looking for though

go

matticooper · Post by **matticooper** » Wed Dec 27, 2006 9:27 pm

matticooper wrote:yeah.. but I'd want Roy in the side... because he's Roy

it's ok Roy... we think there's room for a zinc cream wearing golliwog in the Aussie side

Montey · Post by **Montey** » Wed Dec 27, 2006 11:09 pm

Dear England,

Hahahahahaaaaha,

hahahaaaaa,

hahahaaaaa,

hahahahahaaaaha!

Nigel · Post by **Nigel** » Thu Dec 28, 2006 1:07 am

bah It should be mentioned that "Roy" is in fact..... English.

matticooper · Post by **matticooper** » Thu Dec 28, 2006 7:10 am

and Stuart Clark is born to English parents... but we're not counting now are we

Vilante · Post by **Vilante** » Thu Dec 28, 2006 7:50 am

And Monty is obviously of Australian descent!

David Piglos Shaw · Post by **David Piglos Shaw** » Thu Dec 28, 2006 8:46 am

fourthof5 wrote:bah It should be mentioned that "Roy" is in fact..... English.

And of West Indian descent. All we need is a photo of him shagging a sheep while eating a vindaloo and he could play for almost any Test playing country.

matticooper · Post by **matticooper** » Thu Dec 28, 2006 9:23 am

David Piglos Shaw wrote:
fourthof5 wrote:bah It should be mentioned that "Roy" is in fact..... English.
And of West Indian descent. All we need is a photo of him shagging a sheep while eating a vindaloo and he could play for almost any Test playing country.

A.R.S.E.

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