The Official ARSE Ashes Thread

nutty · Post by **nutty** » Thu Dec 28, 2006 11:04 am

hahahah!!!!!!

Classic

matticooper · Post by **matticooper** » Fri Dec 29, 2006 9:09 am

Match Figures After 4th Test

Best Batting Average          Best Bowling Average (Runs per Wicket)      
     M. Hussey     105.25           S. Clark     16.76  
     M. Clarke      94.50           G. McGrath   26.47  
     R. Ponting     88.50           A. Symonds   26.50  
     A. Symonds     61.33           S. Warne     28.86  
     K. Pietersen   60.00           M. Panesar   36.13  

Best Batting Strike Rate      Best Bowling Strike Rate (Balls per Wicket)      
     A. Gilchrist  109.15           S. Clark     45.24  
     S. Clark       84.75           M. Panesar   52.50  
     A. Symonds     71.88           S. Mahmood   57.75  
     J. Langer      71.79           A. Symonds   60.00  
     M. Clarke      63.74           S. Warne     60.76  

Most Runs                      Best Bowling Economy (Runs per Over)      
     R. Ponting       531           S. Clark     158.2  2.23
     M. Hussey        421           G. McGrath   159.1  2.50
     K. Pietersen     420           A. Symonds    20.0  2.65
     P. Collingwood   389           S. Warne     212.4  2.85
     M. Clarke        378           M. Clarke     17.0  3.12

Highest Scores                 Most Wickets      
     P. Collingwood   206           S. Clark      21  
     R. Ponting       196           S. Warne      21  
     K. Pietersen     158           G. McGrath    15  
     A. Symonds       156           B. Lee        14  
     M. Hayden        153           M. Hoggard    13  

Most Balls Faced               Most Overs Bowled    Overs  Balls
     R. Ponting       881           S. Warne        212.4  1276
     P. Collingwood   868           B. Lee          165.5   993
     K. Pietersen     812           G. McGrath      159.1   955
     M. Hussey        803           S. Clark        158.2   950
     M. Clarke        593           S. Harmison     142.1   853

Longest At Crease    mins  hrs.mins    Most Maidens Bowled      
     R. Ponting      1293   21.33           G. McGrath     46  
     K. Pietersen    1218   20.18           B. Lee         43  
     P. Collingwood  1210   20.10           S. Clark       43  
     M. Hussey       1189   19.49           S. Warne       41  
     M. Hayden        961   16.01           S. Hoggard     25  

Most Boundaries      4s  6s    Most Expensive Bowlers    Overs  Runs
     R. Ponting      54   0         S. Warne             212.4   606
     K. Pietersen    44   2         B. Lee               165.5   570
     M. Hussey       42   1         S. Harmison          142.1   521
     M. Hayden       39   2         M. Hoggard           141.0   486
     P. Collingwood  37   2         A. Filntoff          120.0   425

Average Team Scores   decl.    Most Extras Bowled    nbs  wides
  Australia:    397.57  4           B. Lee            34    4
  1st Innings:  444.50  1           A. Flintoff       22    1
  2nd Innings:  299.00  3           G. McGrath        13    3
                                    S. Harmison        3    9
  England:      261.50  1           S. Mahmood         1    3
  1st Innings:  270.50  1          
  2nd Innings:  252.50  0      Most Catches      
                                    A. Gilchrist      16  
Runs Scored                         G. Jones           9  
  Total:     4767                   P. Collingwood     6  
  Australia  2585                   C. Read            6  
  England    1952                   J. Langer          5  
  Extras      230                   M. Hayden          5
                                    S. Warne           5
                                    I. Bell            5

bored at work... no boss... no work

David Piglos Shaw · Post by **David Piglos Shaw** » Fri Dec 29, 2006 11:06 am

After this deplorable tour, The English Cricket Board have decided to replace their logo. Here are the old and the new versions.

r8response · Post by **r8response** » Fri Dec 29, 2006 11:28 am

Long Tail? im not getting it. eh, not enough sleep

anyway, this thread should be in the Hilari-ARSE section, simply because the english cricket team are a fucking joke

David Piglos Shaw · Post by **David Piglos Shaw** » Fri Dec 29, 2006 11:48 am

You got it. Sad attempt at humour. Of England's 7 completed innings (1 was declared) they average just over 76 runs for the last 5 wickets.
But I suppose their top and middle order aren't much better.

Vilante · Post by **Vilante** » Fri Dec 29, 2006 1:00 pm

I think the logo should stay as is, it should stand for "England Can't Bat" though

David Piglos Shaw · Post by **David Piglos Shaw** » Fri Dec 29, 2006 1:11 pm

Or:

England Can't Bowl
England Can't Bounceback
England Can't Bloodywelldoanythingatall

Nigel · Post by **Nigel** » Fri Dec 29, 2006 1:33 pm

Well it doesn't help when the English stratergy plan seems to find its way into the Australian camp. An investigation is underway into how the information was leaked.

Post by **Hz-Lab** » Fri Dec 29, 2006 1:36 pm

fourthof5 wrote:Well it doesn't help when the English stratergy plan seems to find its way into the Australian camp. An investigation is underway into how the information was leaked.

sif they had a strategy...lol

cos "Let's just try and bat out 5 days and hope for draws" really helped australia thrash the pants of them

r8response · Post by **r8response** » Fri Dec 29, 2006 1:37 pm

fourthof5 wrote:Well it doesn't help when the English stratergy plan seems to find its way into the Australian camp. An investigation is underway into how the information was leaked.

i really dont think that made much of a difference. england have underperformed in all aspects of the game

David Piglos Shaw · Post by **David Piglos Shaw** » Fri Dec 29, 2006 1:40 pm

fourthof5 wrote:Well it doesn't help when the English stratergy plan seems to find its way into the Australian camp. An investigation is underway into how the information was leaked.

It's obvious. Because their security is on par with their batting and bowling.

Bacchulum · Post by **Bacchulum** » Fri Dec 29, 2006 1:42 pm

fourthof5 wrote:Well it doesn't help when the English stratergy plan seems to find its way into the Australian camp. An investigation is underway into how the information was leaked.

They passed it to Giles, who just let it slip through his fingers.

fp · Post by fp » Fri Dec 29, 2006 1:51 pm

fourthof5 wrote:Well it doesn't help when the English stratergy plan seems to find its way into the Australian camp. An investigation is underway into how the information was leaked.

lol, even the pommy sympathisers are whingers.

Scary thing is that I can't tell if you're serious or just planting bait/taking the piss...

Nigel · Post by **Nigel** » Fri Dec 29, 2006 1:58 pm

Mickey.

David Piglos Shaw · Post by **David Piglos Shaw** » Fri Dec 29, 2006 2:02 pm

fourthof5 wrote:Well it doesn't help when the English stratergy plan seems to find its way into the Australian camp. An investigation is underway into how the information was leaked.

Lucky that information didn't surface earlier, or their 3-0 deficit at that stage could be under threat.

Enforcer-J · Post by **Enforcer-J** » Sat Dec 30, 2006 11:46 am

Cool, thanks for the stats Matti

How impressive does Stuart Clark look in the bowling stats!? I'm tipping him for Man of the series.

Nigel · Post by **Nigel** » Sat Dec 30, 2006 12:15 pm

Most Extras Bowled.
S. Harmison NB 3 Wides 9

Thats an interesting one concidering his, err, first few deliveries.

David Piglos Shaw · Post by **David Piglos Shaw** » Sat Dec 30, 2006 3:25 pm

In my former life as a courier, deliveries weren't counted if they went to the wrong suburb.

matticooper · Post by **matticooper** » Tue Jan 02, 2007 7:49 am

lol

right as I type this... it's raining steadily at the moment... me thinks no play this morning.

Montey · Post by **Montey** » Tue Jan 02, 2007 8:51 am

matticooper wrote:lol

right as I type this... it's raining steadily at the moment... me thinks no play this morning.

Finally England faces the prospect of achieving a draw. Well done guys.

(What you can't see is Flintoff standing on the roof of the umpire's box with a garden hose. Someone should tell him no sprinklers until after midnight!)

matticooper · Post by **matticooper** » Tue Jan 02, 2007 9:08 am

Looks like the water's run out in Sydney... the sun is now out...

get that soaker working boys... clean it up and send the Poms out to field

matticooper · Post by **matticooper** » Thu Jan 04, 2007 7:16 am

farily even game at the moment...

I have a question to pose to all that contribute and like the cricket. Going on past form of the previous 4 tests, should Punter declare straight after they pass Englands total of 291 (giving 2 days and 2 sessions), or bat out most of the day leaving 2 days and 1 hour to get the Poms out.

Thoughts?

(and the weather forecast is for clearing showers today, fine for Friday and Saturday...)

Vilante · Post by **Vilante** » Thu Jan 04, 2007 8:18 am

I'd like to see the fairytail which would mean having us in the field, and Warney/McGrath nocking them over to take the white wash

Strange weather around the SCG today, it was raining when I drove up to it, stopped when I got to the corner then started again when I reached the back of the stadium.

Hope it buggers off!

Exar Kun · Post by **Exar Kun** » Thu Jan 04, 2007 12:50 pm

Warney wooooo!!! If he's not going to have a good final game with the ball at least he has a pretty decent knock with the bat.